Hello I’m Katinda Ndola, an Author / Speaker/ Confidence, Relationship & Business Coach living in Melbourne. I endeavour to help women find and keep the man of their dreams as well as help them with business advice on how to increase their profit margins in business.
For this edition of Salt Magazine I spoke to single African Australian women across Australia to find out what are the challenges they face meeting someone special.
3 things most single women say:
All the good guys are taken!
They don’t want the same things that I do!
They are all players I can’t take these men seriously!
Is this you? Sounds familiar? Most of my clients are single women who are actively looking for real love. What is actually the real reason why so many sisters are still unhappily single in their 30s and beyond? Could there be other factors? I spoke to a cross section of single black women across the Country to find out their biggest obstacle to finding Mr. Right.
Chipiwa from South Freemantle, Western Australia is a single, smart & professional black woman who has real challenges finding a man. She said she has not been on a date for at least 1 year and she thinks the problem with most black men out there is that they find her very intimidating and she is out of their league.
Achieng from Richmond, Victoria, a single and strong professional in her mid 30ís said most black men cannot be trusted and are looking for a woman to clean up after them. She says she is a modern woman and needs a man with integrity, not a player and also a man who is exclusively hers. She swears not to get desperate and end up with a man from a different culture. She is open for love from MOTHER AFRICA.
Kibibi from Bankstown, NSW is a single & successful black woman. She is looking for Mr. Right but says her biggest challenge is that the black men prefer to date women from other cultures. She says she cannot compete with that. The black men in Australia are so ‘SCARCE’ so what options do we have? She calls on the universe to SAVE BLACK WOMEN.
Zola from Boondall, Qld, a single and athletic black woman who prefers to date white guys said white guys are gentler, honest, and reliable and they are not players. She can deal with the judgmental side of things from her friends and his friends. The only thing she doesn’t like as a black woman dating a white man is it takes so much effort on the hair & beauty front. The wigs, weaves and constant staying on point everyday.
Finding Mr. Right can be challenging and after chatting with these ladies it is quite obvious that there are varying attitudes and expectations when it comes to relationship for our African Australian sisters trying to juggle work life and a steady love relationship. As a relationship expert here are some tips to get started on the journey to find someone you can share your life with.
Be open-minded when you meet with a potential date.
Flirt but donít throw yourself at the guy as you don’t want to come across as too desperate.
Neat and tidy presentation goes a long way in winning a guy over.
Refrain from expressing admiration of other male friends in front of potential date.
Don’t order the most expensive meal on the menu on your first date.
Make sure you share the same hobbies and interests
While in the process of securing your Mr. Right you should also bear in mind:
- That Mr. Right will not be perfect. We all have flaws.
- That Looks can be deceiving, don’t fall for the looks only – look for character.
- Avoid the relationship if you sense any sign of violence or anger.
For further details on relationship advice and tips from Katinda, visit www.confidenceandselfesteem.com
*The names and identifying details in this article have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals.
